Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season

By Harrish Thirukumaran

During the holiday season, it’s a joyous time filled with celebration, family, friends, and reflection. By extension, this applies to birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestones that take on a celebratory nature. However, this has a different kind of effect on those grieving the loss of a loved one. In my case, my grief is centered on my mom and dad. I recently learned the importance of self-expression of your own individual needs during moments of celebration. The significance of these occasions, whether it is birthdays or holidays like Christmas, tend to be overwhelming when you realize they have become occasions you now experience without your loved one. As we gather for the holiday season soon, I want to direct this to readers to maintain sensitivity towards their friends, family or loved ones whom may be grappling with grief.

With holidays as those points of reflection, one can observe that grief encourages significant learning and growth within people as they grasp to do things on their own after their loved one departs. It does take an emotional toll on those going through it in my experience. Despite being able to handle these new responsibilities or tasks required of life, there is a feeling deep within us that yearns for the presence of their loved one. To return to a former way of life, as I perceived it. Yet, this, I believe, stems from how our mood descends to a lower level when we celebrate knowing our loved one is gone. Additionally, these changes in mood emerge as we ride the path of growth in trying to do things on our own in these sorts of circumstances.

The Mayo Clinic, for example, urges that grief and bereavement are universal, understandable human responses to loss. But, each person processes the various symptoms and reactions can vary greatly. This could not be truer. I found that in situations, especially social ones, negative feelings like sadness, sorrow, or crying tend to slowly reveal themselves. We can either let them be free or restrict them. I have chosen to let them be free when I feel their presence, even if they are not socially acceptable as pointed out in the health world.

Although this can be exhausting, it is recommended that you accept your process whether it be grieving privately or publicly. That is ultimately your decision to make. Some can also choose to seek out grief counseling or support group. There is no wrong way of grieving because it is a subjective experience that you determine. It empowers you to connect with yourself for purposes of emotional safety. It becomes our mission however to reframe those thoughts and feelings as part of exercises in reflection and taking stock of our accomplishments over the year.

For holidays like Christmas, ways to remember your loved ones in a more positive light include sharing stories among family and friends, making favorite foods, or looking at photographs of happy memories. In a sense, let your own feelings be a compass to navigate grief during holidays and celebrations.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season filled with peace, joy, happiness, and love.